Ashes to Embers
by paigercat
Summary: A collection of drabbles I've written over the past few months. Images available along with my writing via my tumblr account. An assortment of pairings are included within. Warning: includes character death, blood, and well... a lot. Varying lengths and plots. [Characters included: Ace, Marco, Luffy, Sabo, Roger, Nami, and Law]
1. Graveyard

Graves were nothing more than a mark of the past — something to honor the dead by.

They weren't warm. They were cold, harsh and unforgiving.

A grave was nothing like Marco, so why was this the only thing left of him?

Ace felt…numb. No matter how many times he visited this spot, it never ceased to feel ethereal, like a never ending nightmare on repeat.

He could spend days, months, _years _reliving the moment Marco died, but when it came down to it - standing here before the cold, grey, slab of concrete.

He was empty.

No memories came to mind, at least not at first. Those always came after the numbness crumbled away.

And of course, with the memories came the pain. It was still raw, images burned into his mind forever much like his flames. There was no longer a Phoenix to draw in though. Those days were gone.

_ Like the Phoenix himself. _

.

.

.

No one ever joined him on days like this. At first Izou had insisted to tag along, but even he eventually realized that Ace needed this time with him alone.

Ace didn't like others seeing him cry.

"You idiot…"

Knees hit the floor as he knelt before the grave.

_ Here Lies Marco _

The words blurred behind his tears, Ace gripping at the grass before the grave with one fist, the other clutching tightly at the white lilies in his grip. Marco's favorite flowers.

"You're a phoenix, bastard… You weren't supposed to die. You're supposed to be immortal… Why did you—Tch…"

"You were the one to welcome me in!" Ace slouched forward further, tears sliding down his cheeks now.

"You w-were the one to listen to me—" His head was resting against the grass now, one fist beating at the headstone. His knuckles were bleeding but he didn't care anymore. He didn't care about anything anymore.

_**"YOU GAVE ME A HOME, MARCO!"**_ His head exploded upwards, voice screeching out to the heavens as if to drag him back down through his words alone.

"You let me _love_ again…" Ace stared upwards now, shoulders sagged and eyes fogged over by loss and sorrow.

_"Why did you leave me…?"_ By the end, his words were only a soft whisper. No one was there. No one was there to listen to him anymore. Luffy was who knows where, healing after the Marineford Battle no doubt. His crew was scattered, the loss of both Marco and Pops crushing their moral and driving everyone apart.

_Ace wasn't enough. _

He was alive but he had never felt more dead. The sun that both Luffy and Marco saw within him was gone — extinguished like the blue fire that he loved so much.

He'd never see that flame again, never feel it's warmth upon him or the fullness of his heart and soul.

For both were withered now, cracking along the edges as he fell to pieces at the foot of the graveyard where Marco lay.

_He was alone._

And he was _broken._


	2. Broken

The door slammed harshly behind her slim form, silence echoing throughout his room for the first time in what felt like hours.

Arguments with Nami always seemed to end up like this — Ace distraught and confused and Nami's frustration driving her away…again.

An exhale of breath was the only sound throughout the still, tense, air of his room as the second division commander rose slowly to his feet, leaving his bed behind as he once more walked towards the door to his quarters.

There was no avoiding this — not anymore.

.

.

.

He found her where he always seemed to find her these days. Almost instinctively she seemed to have discovered the very spot Ace had gone to all those years ago when he was first brought aboard. It was on the far end of the boat, hidden behind a section of rooms where not many delved.

It was also equipped with a nearly stunning view of the sunset every day — that same sunset seeming to light her hair and form aflame with golden light as he approached from behind.

It was no wonder he had grown to love her.

"Nami…" He leaned over the railing, keeping a few inches between them though he wanted nothing more than to envelop her in a hug right now.

Ace sucked in a deep breath, thoughts and words unspoken rushing through his mind before he exhaled once more.

How much he wished he had told her…

"I—Shit… This was so much easier in my head."

"I don't…This—this thing between us. I can't-" He sighed before continuing once more.

"I don't think…this is going to work out…"

"I know it's cliche, but it really isn't you. I—I'm not much of a relationships person. I never have been. They just…they don't work out in the end."

Long fingers knit together before him as he finally dared to turn his head to the side to glance back at her.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is…I think we should break up?"

_Why did that sound like a question?_


	3. A Time Lost

There was one thing Ace had never done — one place the commander had never dared to visit…

Until now.

It wasn't a simple grave. With that guy, it was really no surprise, still it didn't take Ace long to track down, even with most of the locals attempting to conceal the location.

He didn't bring flowers. It's not like he specifically chose not to. This entire trip was rather impromptu and he really just hadn't thought about it until now.

Not like the old bastard would care though, right? Hell, he should be happy that Ace was even—

_"Tch._.. What the hell am I doing here…?"

_What the hell was he doing at Gol D. Roger's grave? _

.

.

.

It was weird really, seeing it now. It was just a cold slab of rock with his name on it, yet that very stone seemed to weigh heavily on Ace's chest, dragging the pit of his stomach down and crushing his heart into pieces. He felt like shattered glass, raw, jagged edges cracked to reveal the emptiness within.

He had always hated him.

Roger was the one responsible for Rouge's untimely death. If he hadn't dragged her in…

Ace shook his head, growling under his breath at the very thought.

Roger was the one to single handedly ruin ace's life and he wasn't even there to do so.

It was tales of this man that drove Ace into all but exile as a child.

It was because of him that Ace now feared commitment and the very idea of a family of his own.

And yet…

_He had always defended him._

Only Ace had the right to scorn this man. Only he was aloud to badmouth him. Everyone else deserved nothing less than a punch to the face, and Ace was all too keen to deliver as much to them.

_He was a good man._

A horrible father, but a good man. He was ambitious, strong, loyal, and probably an idiot.

That was a D. thing though, wasn't it?

He didn't know. Perhaps the D carried down from his parents really did stand for something…

Determination perhaps. It made sense if he thought about it long. That was the one thing that seemed to tie all those with the Will of D together.

_Determination. _

For Luffy, it was the determination to become Pirate King.

For Rouge: the determination to love a man who was unloved.

For Ace himself, it was the determination to stand tall.

For Gol D. Roger…

Well, who knew what his determination had been. It had been strong though, unyielding — never faltering under the pressure of all there was around him.

How much did he go through to become what he had become? He could probably ask Shanks if he really wanted to know, but Ace felt better leaving it the way it was.

He didn't need to know about Roger to know what kind of man he was.

He was stupid, reckless, probably way too talkative for his own good. He was in love with Rouge. He had fearless and loyal nakama that would follow him to the ends of the earth itself.

He was the Pirate King…

_and a father, even if a crappy one… _

So really, he _did _hate him, but at the same time, he couldn't help but respect the man — respect the man he'd never willingly call father. At least, not in front of anyone else.

Here though, at the grave? **_Here _**he could call him father. _Here _he could sit besides him and poor a glass of sake too. It was _here _that he could shed a single tear for what was lost, for could have been's that would never be, for a relationship that he'd never truly know.

When Ace left the grave sight, it wasn't with a frown or a scowl, but a soft, nearly invisible, smile.


	4. Crimson to Black

_His fault…_

_His fault…_

**_His fault._**

**_It was all his fault! _**

It had happened too fast, Ace so used to his abilities, s_o confident in Luffy's crew. _They were strong. Most of them were ridiculously strong.

So he didn't worry about them.

They walked right into a marine trap, but he _wasn't _worried.

Yeah, they were split up, just Nami with him now as they faced off against a group of the uniformed men and women. Yet _still _he hadn't been worried. He was confident in himself, confident in Nami, and so he gave her space to let her do his own thing.

He didn't know they were using sea stone bullets.

He didn't know that Nami would be forced to fight them alone for a short time once Ace got shot.

He hadn't been worried for himself.

In that moment, when the sea stone-laced bullet barreled towards him and tore through skin and sinew, he didn't care.

Because it wasn't his own scream that startled him. It was hers.

That shrill cry of agony that seemed to pierce through not only the still air around them, but the very core of Ace's heart as well. The scream of one who had just had her life torn from her. The scream of one who_knew _they were fatally wounded.

it was that scream that tore through him, that turned ever cell of his being to ice, that shattered into crystal at the sight of her falling form.

**_"NAMI—"_**

Auburn hair stained with red.

Splattered crimson that hit his cheek.

The dull thump as she hit the cold, unforgiving concrete beneath their feet.

It was a blood bath after that, Ace not even recalling how many he tore through to get to her. He didn't hear their screams, didn't acknowledge their blood as it hit him. They blood didn't burn through him like the single droplet of Nami's upon his cheek.

Their blood was nothing when compared to the flood that was rapidly escaping from the young woman not a foot from his shaking form.

"N-Nami…?" He tripped, falling to his knees next to her form. Next to her too still form.

"…Nami-chan?!" There was a desperate edge to his voice as he called for her again.

He wasn't looking at the blood. he wasn't looking at the dark stain around her chest where the bullet had hit her. He wasn't allowing the cold hard facts hit him.

Ace was ignoring the truth as he pulled her into his lap. He was ignoring the world as he brushed a strand of hair from her cold face, tucking it behind an ear that was too cold, too dea—

No.

No!

**NOOOO! **

"**_Nami! _**_Come on!_" He shook her shoulders gently and then firmly. He pulled her close to him, wrapping bloodied arms around her as he ignored the pain in his own shoulder.

How could he focus on that pain when the pain within his chest was so much deeper, bottomless as it threatened to swallow him whole.

"P-please! You can't—You can't do this to me!" She couldn't be dead!

No!

He wouldn't accept it — couldn't accept that the vibrant young woman that had been standing at his side only a moment before, was _**gone.**_

**_"LUFFY! BRING CHOPPER! BRING ANYONE!"_**He screamed, voice strained and cracking. There had to be a way to bring her back! She couldn't be gone! He wouldn't allow it!

Blood poured over him, darker than it should have been and so thick at spots that it looked blood, an endless ebony that seemed to stare back at him, only solidifying what he had been telling himself since the second that shot reached his ears.

_ YOU'VE KILLED HER. _

_"No…"_

_SHE'S DEAD._

_ AND IT'S ALL_

_ YOUR_

_** FAULT**_

_"I'm so sorry…Nami…" _

.

.

.

By the time Luffy and the rest of the crew arrived, every drop of crimson had turned black.


	5. Lingering

It was empty for so long. No color, no sound, silence seemed to fill everything and nothing at the same time.

**_Death wasn't at all what he had expected it to be._**

Where were the gates to Heaven or Hell? Where was the bliss of the afterlife? Maybe he just wasn't there yet — trapped in the limbo between death and life, an endless expanse of nothing.

It certainly gave a guy a chance to think, about everything really.

How long he was in this state — in this place of nothing between worlds? He couldn't say. There was no means of time when you were dead. Everything just…

_was_…

He knew immediately when it was over though. It wasn't a drastic change, more of a whisper of anything recently. Actually, a whisper described the feeling pretty perfectly.

It was like he was alone, but not entirely anymore.

You see, most during this period in between worlds came to terms with everything. They moved on. Ace wasn't like most though. He lingered.

Despite his last words to Luffy, it was still as if he was missing something, or someone really.

It was that someone who was whispering to him now.

It didn't matter if it was only snippets, the occasional word making it through the void. It didn't matter because it was his voice. It didn't matter because that voice was becoming clearer with each passing moment. Clearer, and closer.

It didn't matter because along with the occasional whisper, he was starting to _see_.

_And oh, what he saw…_

…

Everything was blurry at first, like looking at a picture from far away. It was impossible to make out the details and he could never seem to stay long.

The first time he made his way through into the real world, he was there no more than perhaps half a second before the emptiness of the void beyond pulled him back again.

That could never be enough though… It was like a sample at an ice cream parlor. Once that sweet flavor hit his taste buds, he was hooked. Line and sinker.

And so he returned.

The images became clearer with each passing time and his visits began to lengthen, like he was exercising a muscle he'd never had to use before.

At first he was thrilled. That first time he passed through and vivid images came back, he thought he was back — alive again by some miracle! That hope didn't last long, dashed to pieces when Law walked right through him, like he wasn't even there.

He didn't return again for a long period of time after that.

The issue with an addiction though…? It has a way of sneaking up on you and dragging you back in.

And so the now ex-pirate continued to _linger_.

He'd listen in to their conversation, wander about the sub as he had when he was living. No one saw him this time though. There was no petty pickering with Penguin, no nap time with Bebo. And there were no heated conversations with Law.

Yeah, sure. Sometimes he'd act like the other could hear him, or reply to a question the captain would ask when he thought no one else was there.

It felt hollow though…

Soon, Ace wasn't even returning to the limbo state anymore. He remained, as if permanently, in the mortal world.

He wouldn't describe himself as a ghost really. Perhaps he really had become an angel now? It was weird really. He wore the same thing he had worn the last time he was alive though the bloodstains and holes were gone now. Even that one worn down hole in his leftmost pocket had been mended — a surprising discovery Ace had made earlier on.

The scars were gone too. He was whole, complete, yet a part of his very soul still felt like it was missing. Perhaps because he had shared it with the gloomy surgeon before him…

It was hard to say.

"Hey, Panda…?" Ace called out to Law for perhaps the hundredth time that day, still hoping that by some stoke of luck that the other would actually hear him. Still hoping that Law would know that he was still here, that he had never really left him.

And for the hundredth time that day, his spirit sank when Law showed no sign of acknowledgment. It was sad really, especially considering that Ace was almost positive that some of the other crew members had sensed him, perhaps even catching a glance at his nearly golden form.

Not Law though. Never Law. It was as if he didn't _want _to see him. Perhaps thoughts of Ace had been locked away along with everything else, the SuperNova choosing to hide everything again.

He couldn't really blame him. Still, sometimes when Law glanced up, eyes searching for something, Ace_hoped_ that it was him — _hoped_ that at least one more time his eyes would lock with his own.

Time was running out though. No one had to tell him for Ace to just _know… _

It was like a change in the air around him, the slight tightening in his chest as if a string was being pulled. Ace had two stings wrapped around him though… One was pulling away, leading him _**on**_while the other rooted him where he was, a warm red string wrapped around his heart.

It was becoming painful though, Ace starting to feel like he was being tugged in two different directions at once.

He could feel his heart breaking all over again.

But to love and be loved in return, that was worth the pain. It was worth the sadness that washed through him the longer he spent at Law's side. It was worth all worth it by the end.

Because when Ace knew it was his last day, felt that now undeniable tug at his soul — It was only then that Law finally seemed to look up.

He looked up and he saw. Ace din't know how much he could see, a faint glimmer in the air perhaps. Maybe he just felt him there. It was enough though.

The smile that parted Ace's lips in that moment couldn't have been more gentle.

_"I gotta leave now, Panda…"_ His voice didn't sound like his own anymore, echoing slightly. _"Thanks for keeping me company all this time. You should sleep more, you know."_ He was babbling, not knowing whether he could actually hear him or not.

What he said next mattered though.

_"I'll wait for you…"_ It didn't matter how long it took. It didn't matter if Law found someone else in the end. Ace would always be watching. He'd always be wishing him happiness, and one day — whether it be two years or 80, one day they'd meet face to face again.

He didn't say anything else.

It didn't matter, because the one thing Ace wanted to tell him, he'd never need to say aloud. Law already knew. He'd always know.

White light began to filter through, masking all but the male directly before him. It was time to go.

One last time, Ace leaned forward, lips only just brushing the surgeons temple as he smiled. He wouldn't say goodbye.

_He'd never say goodbye. _

Only another second passed before he was gone, a single white feather left upon the cold floor.

Unspoken words hung in the now empty space, a lingering whisper.

It spoke only one thing.

_ I love you…_


	6. Innocence

It was easy — easy to put up a face of bravery in front of Luffy, to stay strong. He needed it after all… They both did.

Ace was the only big brother now after all. There was no longer another to rely on, to share the burden with. No one to laugh with or thieve with.

Luffy wasn't ready for such things. He wasn't like that. Luffy wasn't Sabo.

_He never would be._

And so Ace took upon that mantle himself. He talked to Luffy, distracted the younger boy in order to keep his minds on happier things — in order to keep either of them from thinking about the recent death of their friend — their companion… their brother.

Easier said than done…

Sighing, Ace's mind flashed back to that day once more, to the raging flames and heat that had scorched his face even from their distance. the remains of Sabo's ship sinking like his own heart, flames dying as the ocean swallowed all whole.

Those dying flames.

The absence of a scream.

It had all happened so fast, his brother so suddenly and viciously ripped from his side, leaving a tattered and broken soul behind.

Luffy was the only glue keeping him together right now and Ace in return, the same for him. Of course, Lu couldn't know that though. He could never know just how damaged Ace was within.

Ace was supposed to be the strong one, the dependable 'big brother'. He alone would never be allowed to die. He'd _never _leave Luffy alone.

**_Never._**

And so he stayed strong, he made promises he knew that he may not be able to keep. He did _anything _to calm Luffy's fears.

The same could not be said about his own fears.

Ace wasn't sleeping, only eating or pretending to do so when Luffy was there to watch him. The bags under his eyes were becoming more apparent though, his waist thinner and strength weaker than before. Because try as he might to make Lu feel better, he, himself was tearing apart at the seams.

In all this time, Ace had never cried in front of Luffy.

It would be hypocritical. That's what he told himself at least.

The truth…? He really just didn't want his younger brother to see how weak he really was.

Luffy didn't need to know that Ace wasn't sleeping because it felt weird to be a brother short.

He didn't know that Ace wasn't eating because the three of them weren't all there to enjoy it.

The young boy didn't _know _that every night after he was fast asleep, ace would slink away. He didn't_know_ that Ace went to that same cliff every night.

And he certainly never knew that Ace would sit there besides the clumsily made grave with nothing within. Luffy would never know the tears Ace spilt every night with the sea air brushing through his hair, all the while wishing it to be Sabo instead.

Sabo was gone though.

He was dead.

His brother would never be coming back to him.

They wouldn't hunt together anymore, or fight or train. There would be no teasing jokes, no playful shoves or challenges they knew they'd never be able to accomplish. Sabo wasn't there to slap the back of Ace's head when he was too rude or too stubborn.

He had been the good brother.

Sabo would have known what to do and how to make Luffy feel better.

Sabo knew how to do everything.

_But he wasn't here anymore… _

So here, and only here, Ace cried. He cried for his lost friend — his first friend actually. He cried for the loss of his brother. He had been a sparing partner, a fellow mastermind, and a brilliant rival.

More than anything though, Sabo had been his family when there was none. That stupid, gapped-thoothed kid had been the only one willing to open his heart and let Ace in.

And without him, Ace's heart was broken and empty once more.


	7. Scream

**_World War I…_**

**_Ground Zero… _**

_Where nothing lives and everything and everyone dies. Once green — now stained scarlet with the life blood of thousands. Corpses littered the floor, little more than obstacles at this point. The souls of those gone seeming to linger, to warn of what was to come. _

_The final warning. _

_Crosses dotting the landscape like lonely spires, the only thing seeming capable of growth, for they did grow - in number at least. _

_That was to be expected though. _

_After all…_

_Where war goes, death is sure to follow. _

_War…where the only lingering emotion boiled red and hot, searing white with rage…_

"**_Right flank, move out!_**"

The thump of boot-cad feet against packed dirt would have been loud given any other place or time.

In a war zone though, the sense of hearing was all but useless, worn down by the nearly constant gunfire and canon bombardment. The click of a rifle being loaded was nearly impossible to discern at this point in the war. Hell, you were lucky if the sound of gunshot reached your ears before the pain.

Most were not so lucky…

The trenches had become a home away from home for the Seventeenth Platoon, Allied soldiers alike taking what little comfort could be gained within these mud walls. There were sparse roofs, even sparser living arrangements and supplies.

Two meals a day if you lived to see them. Sleep was taken in four hour shifts and even then, it was rare.

There were no tales or memories shared on these nights — not anymore at least. Too many deaths plagued young and old minds alike, bloodshed a nearly constant stain upon both body and heart. Often, you were lucky to go a day without the crimson curse splattered onto your face, left there to dry and darken.

Today was not one of those days…

"Three straight on and a fourth coming from the right!" Raven hair fell into ashen eyes as the young soldier dared a peak around the barbed wire. They were out in the open, another risky advance but what other choice did they have?

It was a light touch — something to let him know that he was there, that Ace wasn't alone, and Oda, did Ace need that touch then.

Without even a glance, Ace reached back to place his own hand upon the one on his shoulder, knitting fingers together and finding solace in the one remaining rock in his life.

Marco.

"We can do this, yoi! Just like last time. I've got the one on the right. You blow the others to smithereens."

It was barely over a whisper, yet his voice rang clear and strong in the dark-haired youth's ears, more powerful than any gunshot ever could be.

He didn't answer, at least not with words. Long fingers tightened over Marco's briefly, a nearly invisible nod his only mark of agreement. They didn't need to speak to know what there was to be done. Months fighting besides each other left the two closer then they ever would have thought.

Three fingers held out at his side, a clear indicate as they ticked down silently, seconds passing in heavy, tense silence.

Three…

Two…

One!

Camouflaged in both greens and browns with only a faint emblem of red white and blue upon their breasts, the two soldiers burst out from hiding in a synchronized roll.

It was like clockwork.

Duck to the side, pull key, throw grenade. Duck once more, tuck and roll, drop to the left before rolling once more to the right. Neither stopped moving for more than a split second.

**_Hesitation meant death._**

The explosion burst through the air, carrying ash and dust and heat along with the crying wails of death. Rifle fire filled the air once more as the still evaporated yet again into chaos.

"You alright, yoi?" Ace startled, ashen irises falling upon Marco once more as the blonde joined him at his side — if he could even be called a blonde still by this point. With all the blood and dirt, it looked far darker now.

"I'm fine. Check on That—" Another explosion, this time closer, sent both rocking backwards from the force, screams echoing around them as the canon ended more Allied lives.

Panic filled Ace to the very core at a short exclamation of pain not more than a foot away.

**_He couldn't see Marco!_**

The air was filled with smoke and dust, Ace unable to pick out the state of the form before him.

"Marco!" He didn't care if his voice rang though the silence, didn't care if someone had heard him. All he knew was that something had happened to Marco, the very thought shooting ice through every fiber of his being. Long fingers scraped at the other's arms, desperation in every action as his hands wandered, searching for a wound but hoping to find none.

Thankfully, as if sensing the panic in his voice, strong arms wrapped around him once more, rough hair, tickling the soldiers neck as Marco buried his face into his shoulder.

"Fine. I'm fine. Just a scratch." His voice rumbled, deeper than Ace's own, and damn if he didn't need to hear that then and there.

"Thank Oda…" Ace murmured in return, smoke and dirt still clouding his vision, making the world around them dark and foreign.

_And then it was bright. Too bright._

The click of a gun and the panic was back full force, hitting Ace in the gut like a battling ram as wide eyes looked towards the light, looked towards death on two legs — looked straight down the barrel of cold steel.

Ace didn't think. He moved, shoving the only person that mattered to him as far as he could as long as it was away — away from the light, away from the enemy soldier mere yards away from them.

**_"Mar—"_**

The bang was all he heard, all he felt as the sharp, piercing pain struck home.

_Poor aim. _

With mostly untrained soldiers, of course it would be… Ace wasn't sure whether it was good or bad fortune that the lead projectile dug deep into his gut instead of his heart. It festered there, burning as if ablaze. Pain rippled through him, spreading like a cursed disease through his veins as a scarlet rose bloomed out across his front, petals of life drooping and falling at his sides.

.

.

.

_Ace was aware of two things in that moment. _

_One: the bullet currently wedged between bones._

_Two: Marco._

**What hurt more?**

_ He couldn't say…_

Blood splattered but it was not his own, Ace only vaguely aware of a corpse hitting the floor, for in the next moment, Marco was kneeling besides him once more.

_Funny…_

_He'd never seen the guy cry before…_

_Looked kinda…weird…_

_It was painful… Why was Marco crying…? _

"Oi! Stay with me, Ace. Come, on. Don't do this to me!" He pulled the bleeding male closer, Ace not even aware of the pain by this point. "A-Ace? Buddy? I need you to stay awake, okay?"

Dull eyes glanced up at Marco, lips stained crimson with blood and freckles standing out against suddenly _pale_ skin. "M—" He couldn't move, numbness having spread throughout him. _Why was he cold…? Wan't blood supposed to be warm? Why couldn't he feel the wound anymore? _

A fleeting thought broke past the barriers of his mind, a hope really. How nice this would be if it were all just a dream — a figment of imagination gone wild.

_No… Marco wouldn't be crying if it were a dream…_

"Mar—" There was something he had to say.

_What was it again, though…? He suddenly couldn't remember, mind blank of all but the figure before him._

"Stop it!" Hands were covered in blood, too much blood. Futilely, Marco pressed already stained hands against the wound, willing it to close, willing the wound to disappear so that Ace would be okay.

He was going to be okay! He **_HAD_** to be!

And then there was a cold hand against his tear stained cheek, bright eyes turning to meet with Ace's once more with a choked breath. Because Ace was looking at him. That idiot was smiling as if he was fine, as if there wasn't a hole in his gut right then.

_ He was __**smiling**__… _

"M-Marco… I lo—"

The hand slipped, and that was when everything crumpled. Eyes still locked with those dark pools, he _watched _the spark, that beautiful light _vanish _— snuffed out like a single candle, like a breeze had just carried away the very essence of the young man still bleeding in his arms.

There was another choke, undistinguishable sounds ripped from Marco's throat as he stared down at the husk that remained of Ace, unspoken words handing like a noose around his neck.

And still bullets rang. And still the war continued around them, cold, harsh, uncaring.

It was just another death on top of thousands.

Just another loss.

**_Just another scream of agony as another love fell to pieces…_**

_**Just another heart snapping in two, embers to ashes…**_


	8. Twist in R E A L I T Y

_Dreams_… What complicated figments of wild imagination they became — not necessarily fake but more a twisted form of reality, like looking through a bent glass plane.

So linear at times, yet how quickly they spun into themselves like a web, trapping the subconscious mind in an endless maze of emotions and images.

Dreams were single handedly the best and the worst of the world, meshed into one.

One moment spent in harmony, dreams were what dug up horrors and pains from the past — no barrier to shove them behind when it was your own mind that fought against you like a raging storm. There was no hiding from dreams.

You simply waited…

and **_hoped._**

_They always seemed to start the same. _

Always happy, dragging him into the trap like a tempting lure. Nothing pulled him in faster than a happy memory. _There were so few after all… _

Laughter bubbled up from the warm light around him, young and full of a near explosive happiness. It was innocent — pure even. A sound Ace hadn't heard in nearly thirteen years now.

_Not that his dream state knew that. _

No, the mind had a way of hiding back important facts, and his seemed to _relish _on the unravelling of the second division commander's mind, like pulling a single thread to see what hole would spring forth from such a simple, _innocent _action.

The joy was always first to come, warm as it spread through his tiny form like wildfire. Tiny. Right, he was a child again in this dream. Well, that should be fun…

There was something in his hand, Ace only taking a second to recognize the familiar lump of metal as his pipe from childhood. Ahh, the adventures he had had with this, and with the blonde boy so easily walking besides him.

**_Sabo…_**

_"How much you nab from him, Pepper-Face?"_

Oh, that familiar voice. That nickname only _he _had been allowed.

The small swarm of irritation bloomed in his chest though it was only for the sport of it, irritation quickly washed away by the small if prominent swell of pride that fluttered in his chest like a bird attempting to fly from it's cage.

Thin hands were held out, gold glinting off a sun that had been directly overhead a moment before but was now casting the warm rays of a sunset upon them.

How funny time was when dreaming. Nights could go on for days sometimes of a dream seeming to freeze at exactly daybreak for hours. It was never something you realized while in a dream though. For a person within a dream never knew of the warped reality around them. No. To the lucid mind, everything was very,_very_ real.

"Oh, you know — the usual." The gold watch was held out in one hand, the other clutching a small sac filled with the spoils of the day.

Simple, unbridled happiness. Was that too much to ask for?

_"We've almost got enough."_ His voice reached Ace through a fog, dark eyes turning to glance over at his brother with a wide grin. Soon… They'd be able to leave this island soon. It was almost time to pursue their futures — almost time to leave this wretched island and the memories it held behind. A whole new world awaiting their mischief.

"We're so close…" So very close… Then they would be _free!_

_Oh, but what a lie freedom was… _

And then the dream was twisting again, plane of vision warped like a mirror in a fun house, spinning and turning until everything went still.

.

.

.

The heat seared his skin, seemingly impossible from the distance yet it felt like every nerve was ablaze, agony searing all the way to his center though it was nothing compared to the pain ripping forth from his heart.

**_"Sabo!" _**

Thin fingers clutched desperately at the lingering green residing just shy of the cliff face, pulling at the grass desperately as if in a vain hope that doing so would bring back his brother, wipe away the fires of hate that bloomed to life out on his tiny ship — or the remains of what had once been a ship.

It was not the lungs of a youth that screamed next, age warping as he remained crouching on the side of the cliff. The fire was gone, instead replaced by a seemingly endless grey, sky and sea blending together seamlessly as the rain fell upon still singed shoulders. And still his screams of loss rang out like a bell in the silent air, carrying around him until he felt his throat raw with pain. Nothing amounted tot he pain within — the loss that shot through his veins like ice eyer time ashen irises fell upon where Sabo had fallen — where the ocean had greedily stolen him away into it's depths.

"Why…?" Why of all the people did it have to be him? Why Sabo? _WHY?!_ But of course the heavens did not answer him, nor his treacherous mind as it threw yet another curve ball his way.

_**"I should be the one asking that." **_

The voice hit him like a solid blow, raven locks falling into his face as Ace turned, searching out the source that remained unseen "Who—?"

**_"Why do you live while I die? What right do you have to continue on without me?!" _**

A figure -at first little more than a shadow- stepped out from the trees. He was cloaked in darkness, seeming to wear the shadows much like a shroud upon his visage. It was, of course, the hat that gave him away, that familiar top hat he had grown so fond of over the years.

_How quickly a dream morphed into a nightmare, pulling out the worst of his fears and giving them a voice, a face capable of hurting him more than any other. _

"Sa—" The name was only half voiced before hands were wrapping tightly around his throat, tearing the air from his lungs as his back was thrown to the ground. Briefly, he noticed how the sky was no longer light, darkness seeming to seep from the visage before him like a blanket stretching out to coat the world. There was no warmth in this blanket though, cold and dark like the blue eyes that dug into him like icy steel.

_**"You let me DIE! You left me here to rot! Why didn't you save me, Ace? WHY?!" **_

His skin was peeling, cracks forming across the older version of Sabo's face as if disintegrating into ash. He couldn't breathe, air denied to his lungs as Ace's fingers dug into Sabo's arms, failing to conquer the inhuman strength the blonde before him wielded.

Like a vacuum, Ace felt himself pulled deeper, space seeming to spin around the two in a vortex of darkness though Ace's eyes never left the mirror of his brother before him, the brother he had let die.

_How weak he was…_

Again a change, this time Sabo's child form pinning down his own. His voice rang through the air, that familiar childish tone gone as his partner, his friend strangled the life from him.

**_"It should have been you."_**

**_"Who would have missed you?"_**

**_"Who would have mourned for someone like you?" _**

_Who would miss a demon like him…? _

.

And then just as suddenly…

.

Gone was the grip around his throat, Sabo falling to pieces before him, the wind carrying his brother away like little more than dust, dust which he desperately strove to grip onto.

No.

_No._

**_No!_**

Rage or not, he couldn't stand to lose his brother again, a sound dying at the back of his throat as tears swam into his vision.

There were no words though, his voice stolen from him as empty cries were torn to shreds by the storm around his crippled form — his soul falling to pieces as if to follow Sabo in his path.

Always chasing…

_ Never catching. _

_**"It should have been you…"**_

Dreams. They were never real. Each morning was met with the same. You wake up. you forget. Dreams are not meant to be held onto, for while some may promise greatness or happiness, it was in dreams were true pain was felt.

_Dreams were what tore the soul apart. _

_Dreams never allowed you to forget. _

_Dreams scattered hope to the wind like ashes._

**_Because it was the dreams that lingered that stung far worse than any wound. _**

Pants echoed throughout the dimly lit room, a single candle casting flickering shadows across the room — across the form coated in a layer of sweat and fear as the last threads of the nightmare released their hold.

It was just another nightmare. Nothing more.

Just another horror to burry, to add to the pile.

_Just another _

_ twisted_

_** y**_


	9. Fading to Dust

He wasn't supposed to _be _here!

Months had been spent keeping the mission hidden from the blonde, weeks of lying through his teeth — an action in of itself that Ace despised with all his might. You weren't supposed to lie to those you loved. Even if it was for their own safety. Even if it meant preventing something like this.

_Why couldn't he breathe?_ Air seemed meaningless to him in this moment with hands stained such a dark shade of crimson, futilely pressing against a wound so deep. It was like a chasm, sucking up all he held dear and leaving the raven lost and shattered.

"Don't _do _this to me!" It was more a cry for help than an angry retort, desperation clinging to the commander like a second skin, suffocating him and tearing at something deep within.

That was how it felt seeing Sabo covered in blood before him.

"Ace…"

"No! Shut up! Don't talk…" His voice broke, cracking and falling from his lips with far too much emotion clinging to such simple words.

_Don't waste your energy…_

There was way too much blood, deep crimson blooming to life like an accursed rose against rapidly paling skin. It was like each drop sucked something out of the male and it was _terrifying._

_A wound to the gut. Fatal. _

The facts echoed in his mind but Ace ignored them, shoving the thought aside as he grasped desperately for hope — any kind of hope. It would be fine. Sabo would be fine. He wasn't going to—

"…Ace…I—"

Dark eyes rimmed with panic tore away from red to meet blue, drinking in the eyes that were way too calm in this kind of situation. Why was he looking at him like that? More importantly, _why was he still trying to fucking talk?! _

"Will you just—" An angry cry was cut off abruptly, warmth hitting his cheek as a bloodstained hand cupped the side of his face, killing off whatever words were on Ace's lips as they fizzed out in the back of his throat. Instead, a painfully raw noise of distress ripped from him.

In that moment, he hated how calm Sabo seemed. Resolute and accepting. Ace didn't **want** him to accept this.

"Hey…" Oddly enough, Ace wasn't even aware of the tears streaking down freckled cheeks until a thumb brushed one aside, Sabo's face contorting in a mixture of emotions that were foreign to the raven. That, discerning them was simply made impossible by his suddenly blurred vision.

_Tears…_ When was the last time he actually cried?

Another choked noise and Ace was suddenly clutching at Sabo's hand with his own, breathing difficult as he forced himself to meet that gaze once more. "I—I can't. Why did you come, you—"

The chuckle was low, surprising given the situation though it was quick to cut off, a sudden cough replacing it and causing Ace to flinch. He was getting worse. How much time before—

_"Because I love you." _

Ace might have missed the words if not for his focus so fixated upon the blonde. Sabo was still watching him, that damn calm gaze staring back at him with more warmth than he thought possible, searing into Ace's heart and lodging there as if to take up a new residence. Warmth to rival the heat at his own core, though this was far gentler. And far more heartbreaking.

And then his hand was slipping from Ace's cheek, dark eyes widening in horror as that same warmth snuffed out from once bright blue eyes, smothered like a bright candle now scattered by the wind.

"…Sabo…?"

He was still holding his hand, the other pressing against the wound. There was no answer, Ace still staring into hollow eyes as if praying for that same spark to return — waiting for the blonde to crack one of his stupid jokes.

Because this had to be just that — a joke. A ploy of some kind.

_He couldn't be dead. _

**_Sabo couldn't be dead. _**

Someone was screaming, the sound hollow and sorrowful though Ace couldn't tell where it was coming from. It wasn't until hands were on his shoulders, pulling at him, that he realized that he was the one screaming. He wouldn't release him though — wouldn't let go of the shell of what had been his brother, his best friend.

He wouldn't let go of the one person he had been willing to share his heart with.

_Because I love you._

Ace had never had the chance to reply. Never had the chance to give Sabo the answer he had been waiting to hear.

_Ace had never had the chance to say _

_**"I love you too…"**_


	10. Stained Hands

_How frail life seemed to be. _

It was easy to forget the morality of humans when he, himself, was typically so immune to the danger that waited around ever corner. A normal bullet would pass through him as little more than a breath of air, harmless and almost amusing.

But through those that lacked his logia abilities, the sharp crack of gunfire was met with a sickening result, bone and flesh yielding under the lethal force a single bullet could inflict. A single bullet given aim and precision was the difference between night and day, light and dark,

******_life_****_ and _****_death…_**

_**"JENA—"**_

She didn't scream, didn't even cry out as cold steel shot through her middle. There was only a split second of shock, surprise coating her young face and filling normally warm eyes with an emotion Ace had never wanted to see upon her face.

_Fear_.

Then Jena was falling, and suddenly Ace was too far away, arms and weapons grabbing at him as the marines attempted to force him back and away — away from what had been a mistake but an unforgivable sin in the raven's eyes.

A bullet meant for him. A bullet that had passed through his flesh harmlessly in the wake of fire. The same bullet meant to cripple Ace had done its job, but in an entirely different way. for the moment her small form hit the floor, Ace was broken, mind and heart shattering in every direction as his eyes zeroed in on the dark crimson pooling around her still form. Dark eyes desperately seeked out the bright blue but found only a dim reminder of the vitality and strength that had once coursed through her.

They were empty — hollow. What little hope Ace had clung to snapped in that moment, a scream raking upwards from somewhere deep within, bellowing the sorrow and rage that boiled up from his core and tore everything else asunder.

Fire, bright and angry leapt around him but Ace didn't notice. He didn't notice the hands fleeing from his burning form, cries of pain and terror sparking to life in the wake of the sudden inferno that surrounded him.

_Fire and heat and __**pain.**_

Ace was on his knees, pulling the prone form towards him as he cradled her head in his arms. The fire did not touch her, instead folding around them as all else burned, a shield to protect her.

_Though, he had failed to do just that. _

Words would not rise, instead choked sobs racking his form as he held her close. _His precious daughter._And he had failed her. He had allowed himself to love, to grow close, and now that love had been snatched from him once more, blown apart and left to bleed out on the cold, unforgiving floor. That same floor now stained black with her blood.

Sorry

_ Sorry_

**_Sorry…_**

The same word echoing in his mind, a mind blank of all else as agony pierced at his soul, ripping his heart apart at the seams and allowing it to sink. Lips met with a cold forehead, Ace rising a shaking hand to close hollow eyes that stared back at him blankly. Unseeing and cold.

And still the fire burned on, tearing the remains of the home to pieces and blackening all that he had held so dear. Memories of what was now gone.

He was choking, the smoke billowing about though he hardly noticed through the film of tears as he allowed Jena to slip from his eyes. The flames devoured her and faintly Ace hoped that she would rise again anew, much like a friend held so close to his heart.

Jena was no phoenix though. She was human, painfully human.

And now she was gone, ashes carried up and into the wind, scattered across lands he had once hoped to travel with her.

That dream was dead though.

_Just as she now was._


	11. Don't Chase the Rabbit

There was a kind of still over the forest in the early morning light, oddly peaceful given the hidden dangers lurking behind every tree, giant trunks of wood stretching up and into the heavens.

"…Ace…?"

The raven blinked, startled by the sudden voice though he would be loathe to admit so. "…Go back to sleep, Luffy." His voice was low, a soft fondness shrouded by sorrow as he turned his gaze to face the younger.

"Aren't you gonna sleep, Ace?"

A small smile and a shake of his head. "Later, Lu. I'm thinking." There was a faint shuffle, the young raven obviously surprised by Ace's words.

"What about?"

Stubborn brat. Ace groaned, shaking his head again as fingers moved to trail through his own unruly locks. "It doesn't matter. Go back to sleep or I won't take you hunting with me today."

A noise of surprise escaping the younger was quickly followed by more shuffling as Luffy buried himself into his blankets. Ace suppressed a chuckle at the sight.

Silence stretched between them once more as Ace's dark gaze once more shifted to the outside world. The sun was peaking out over some of the taller trees now, blue etching across the sky like spilled pain upon a dark canvas.

"I miss him too…"

Ace stiffened, not gifting the comment with an answer. There was no need to.


	12. A Message on Wings

_63,072,000 seconds_

_1,051,200 minutes_

_17,520 hours_

_730 days_

_ 2 **y e a r**_**_ s_**

Not that he was counting. It was a rough estimate at best— no real way to measure the time. You'd be hard pressed to find something as simple as a clock here. He had probably missed a few days, possibly as much as a month of time left out. It was impossible to tell how long he had been stuck in that maze of glass, a web that stretched out around him, just waiting to catch him unaware so as to ensnare the raven in eternal nothingness.

_** L - I - M - B - O**_

What an adventure _that _had been. It was easy to slip back into the memories of that state— an expanse of white gray that hurt his eyes and made the horizon blur. How long he had walked only to never tire. No day. No night. There was only what was and what was not.

Time blurred, as did everything in that trapped state of time and reality. A day? A month? Tracking that period was an impossibility, and Ace had _never _been a fan of such things.

_Such thoughts were pointless right now._

Besides, there was something far more interesting occurring below. Dark eyes narrowed only by a margin, the ever present storm boiling over the edges of his irises had met no change despite everything else. Quite similar to the unruly waves that Ace found himself blowing out of his face once again. Funny really, despite everything, he still felt the same.

Right, well, obviously there were a few additions to this…_form _he carried now. The scar was one. Most shed their wounds of _life_. It was a way of moving forwards, scratching out the wears of the past in favor of a clean state.

Ace didn't believe in such things, and so the scar remained— a ragged wound that stretched across his center and marred what had once been his pride and joy on his back. Yes, the tattoos were still there too. Call him sentimental, but they were a part of who he was.

Though the Whitebeard emblem upon his back may be torn and worn, a memory of what it had been in the beginning, it was his trophy to wear. Pop's had even laughed not long ago when he brought it up. But, well, Pop's never changed.

Even i h.

Odd to think of such things when they had already come to pass. Two years was a long time to come to terms with such things. How frightening death had seemed for so long, a dark shadow that waited in the darkness. A friend in disguise.

Though true death and the aftermath were far different things.

Death was cold and dark, an emptiness that pulled at his soul and injected lead into his limbs so that he may sink into the depths that called his name. Death was lonely and empty. A hollow shell that tore into his mind and soul and ripped them to pieces, tearing apart his very identity and ripping away the essence of his being.

An essence that now sat in an elaborate wooden chest, a prize awaiting a victor.

That spark of fire within his chest was one thing he now missed. Despite how convenient they may be, the pure wings at his back could not take the place of the fruit that had both cursed and blessed his being.

That very fruit now a deadly trap set to lure close those he loved.

Luffy had been expected. Of _course _that brat would drag everyone around in order to retrieve it. _It's just a stupid fruit_. Well, it would be better if it was.

Like it or not, the crimson swirls so familiar to him had become a symbol of something dear that had been lost. _Someone _that had been lost.

"Tch…"

Once again though, _Luffy _had been expected. His crew a given at his side. Sure, there were quite a few people there that had taken the raven by surprise. A pointless battle that the damn flamingo seemed to revel in…

They all reveled in the

**p a i n**

There was a near silent flutter of wings, Ace not bothering to pay a lone falling feather any thought as bare feet settled on the rim of what had become a stadium. It would fade out of existence soon anyway. Each feather always did. Not that anyone would notice anyway.

Ace had long become accustomed to the _limitations. _

Not to be**_ seen_**

o d,

** felt** or

_ d_

in any way…

And so he watched and he listened. Occasionally he would speak, words falling upon deaf ears. The hands he placed on shoulders were never felt. His tears, for ironically those he kept, faded before ever reaching the floor.

There were others to talk to of course, but Ace kept to himself. His actions were frowned upon after all. Angels weren't supposed to visit the world of the living as often as he. It was unnatural to split his time between where his soul belonged and where it ached to **be.**

An ache that could not be starved.

An ache that lead him once more, _here. _

The chaos of battle had yet to begin, Ace watching from where he sat with near detached boredom as the final four made their way forwards. Just like always, his dark gaze fell upon the youngest of the group, Lu—

The shock was nearly overpowering as it hit like a blow to his stomach, ripping fleeting air from his lungs and setting each nerve on fire, because _that _wasn't Luffy. Luffy was shorter, slimmer in stature.

_** Luffy**_didn't fight with a _**P I P E**_.

A pipe held so familiarly, as if it had always been there. If Ace had a heart left, it would have stopped. Wings spread without his conscious thought, carrying him closer so as to settle on the center of this forsaken arena.

No sound.

No sight.

That had never stopped _Ace _from seeing what lay before him now. The hint of blonde curls from just beneath the rim of a hat, the pipe so easily resembling one from years past. Had horrid glasses not been covering eyes, Ace would have hoped for blue.

And still there was nothing, for the one before him would never be able to see him, nor hear his choked breath. Ace did not dare reach out as the blonde passed. Another disappointment would be too much.

**Anger, a white rage that boiled within.**

_ Sadness, an inescapable sorrow._

Happiness, pure an s.

Another step, two and he was past, leaving Ace to stand ther once more. Two years spent searching for him where he was not only to finally solve the mystery.

Sabo was not _in _heaven or hell or any place in between.

Sabo was alive.

When Ace finally turned to track the form of his brother's back, his gaze was not met with what he expected to see. A single hand held up the the sky, the other gripping tightly to a token from the past. A choked sob raked Ace's form. A hand rose to cover his face though eyes still stared forwards.

_ Watch me Ace!_

Words that echoed in his mind though nothing was said aloud.

"…You idiot—" White wings folded inwards, a shield only he could see, but a shield none the less. A tear, followed by another slid down freckled cheeks.

Silent sorrow.

Silent happiness.

Silent love.

"I was always watching…**Sabo**."


	13. Dancing T O R M E N T

Flames are not meant to be contained. It is either devour and grow or perish. To capture a flame and hold it captive is to sentence that very spark of warmth to death, for without freedom and fresh air not long will pass before it snuffs out, leaving the chill and emptiness in its wake.

How fragile such curls of red and orangeseem to be at times. Nurturing is necessary for fire does not spark to life on its own. Whether through the crack of lightning or breath and gift of kindling, it is born, feeding upon the dead in order to create life. That is the wonder of fire.

Fingers curled absentmindedly before dark eyes, the light flickering and shadows dancing across the walls as if to a merry song only heard by his ears alone, prancing about the digits that had so eagerly brought living fire into existence. It was fascinating really, watching hungry flames lick so gently at the tips of fingers that would have been burned at any other time. The one thing fire was incapable of burning was itself though, so why would any harm come to one bursting forth with a light so akin to the flame as if a portion of his soul had been returned to him without ever knowing to have been incomplete until now. It was dangerous, this flame, and yet at the same time, mor than anything before.

But how the fear bit into him, tearing him apart piece by piece as if pulling on a single string and waiting to see what holes in his composure unraveled before waiting witnesses. Though harmless to himself, fire was unpredictable and wild at heart, bursting forth quite suddenly and without any semblance of warning. How many times now had he burned or nearly scorched those close to himt stable, like trying to ride a stallion on the first day and getting bucked from the back and tossed to the ground in a pile of hurt. It rebelled alway y.

Fingers danced through dark locks, knitting tightly and digging blunt nails into his own scalp as the young figure once more curled into himself, nearly invisible within the suddenly terribly dark stone walls of his willing prison. Rocks would not fall to his flames. They would not crumple into ash like the unfortunate leafy greens he had stumbled upon in his earlier daze. They would not flee his presence with the sharp look of panic in dark eyes like the fox had not moments before. In here he was safe, and more importantly, the world was safe from him.


	14. The Forgotten

—**N U M B**—

That was how it felt at first, though that was always how it seemed to go. His min was blank, body numb for a mere brief respite before everything came crashing down in one enormous wave of senses.

Pain, sheer and vast as it exploded within, rippling through his nerves. A bolt of electricity carried from one to another in the blink of an eye. The aching emptiness left behind as white noise filled both vision and thoughts, only one goal a blazing light before him as knees fought to hold his weight. Even then, it was not enough, limbs failing to hear his pleas as he slumped forward into the waiting embrace of a younger brother he had thought never to see again.

How cruel fate was to bring the youth to him at so dire a time.

And then there were only screams. Voices he dully recognized through the fog of pain and blank acceptance. Crimson irises that stared his way and cries that faded—as everything faded.

Eyes flashed open in a jolt as he burst upwards, palm already resting upon the ragged edge of an only slightly faded scar. He was breathing in quick burst, the edges of dream and memory fading as the light of day shone it's taunting tendrils across his freckled face. A freckled face far too pale.

"Ngh…"

He curled into himself, nails digging into the rough scar tissue of his chest as dark eyes shut tightly. And still the images flashed behind his eyes. Two years passed and yet the nightmares plagued him more than he would ever care to admit. Not that there was anyone there to admit _to. _

Just like the cries and screams of denial ringing through his years that day long past, so too wee the familiar faces fleeing from his mind. Fading into the black background of loss. A swirling swamp of sorrow that dragged at the worn corners of soul and heart, beckoning both into it's inky embrace.

Again eyes shot open, Ace throwing aside the tossed blankets from his form as legs moved to the side, bare feet balancing atop familiar wood. It did not rock as the wood he ached for did, the lap of waves against a dock a sound he yearned for yet strayed from. That was a life gone, extinguished in the wake of magma and scorn.

_Now was a life of revenge. _

There was no time for the **_forgotten_**.


	15. Haunted

How odd it was to be dead. There was a strange emptiness about the feeling, Ace only occasionally bothered by the insistent tug at his soul. People weren't meant to linger after death. To stay was to slowly fade and ignore the destination set out before him.

It wasn't exactly limbo. No, limbo had been empty and cold, while now everything was bright, if sensations were a bit duller. It was like viewing a world through a glass pane. Hard to reach those on the other end when he himself was invisible to the eyes of man and beast alike.

He could neither touch

nor _f e e l_.

How hard to be the only one out of reach. Still, it wasn't all bad. He was laughing again, a sound rich to Ace's ears as the deceased allowed his legs to swing aimlessly over the wooden railings. As animated as ever. It was nice to see him smiling again, nice to hear that laughter. There had been a severe lack of both when Ace first…became aware. If it really could be called that.

At first it had been little more than a haze, like trying to see through thick fog. Sounds were muffled and vision blurred. It was only later that both began to clear and by that time months had passed. Strange to see Luffy growing so strong. He was taller now of course, that same straw hat upon his head even after the passing years.

_Some things never changed. _

It was strangely comforting actually. Time was nonexistent in this suspended existence. It passed in chunks at a time, leaving the raven lost for extended periods before he found himself again.

"There's a stump Luffy. Watch out for the—" Too late. Ace shook his head as the young raven tripped, a sigh parting the former commander's lips. He couldn't hear him of course. Not that Ace would ever stop trying. He was used to it now— the unanswered questions and lack of acknowledgment. The first time had been the worst of course.

When the first thing he saw after who knows how long of emptiness was his brother's face… Ace had screamed his name, relief a crashing wave upon both heart and soul as he lunged forward to embrace the youth…only to fade right through him as Luffy continued on.

The loss.

The pain.

The sorrow.

It was one thing to go without seeing his brother entirely, but to be within reach and _invisible—_ It was an entirely new form of torture, one that yanked at his soul, ripping the fragile thing to ribbons that now lay at the pit of his stomach, burning in the absence of flame.

To watch his younger brother grow, surpassing his own limits. All with that same crooked grin.

Rays of light shone behind him, illuminating the sky in rich red and orange as the lasting light stretched it's fingers across both land and sea. For a moment, Ace paused in his ponderings, gaze still locked upon the retreating figure of familiarity. Luffy had stopped though, dark gaze illuminated by the falling ball of flame and heat.

A smile, small and almost sad as his gaze stared right through where ace sat and into the fading sun.

It was not until he had turned and disappeared into the treeline once more that Ace dared move again, and then it was only to cover his face with his hands.

As the light of the sun set, so did his soul.


	16. Mourned

_Death was a cruel mistress. _

It never seemed to be the old and fulfilled that passed through the arms of death and into a brighter day. No, it was those that had suffered and finally found a home that were snatched from a place of comfort so rudely. The young did not deserve such a twisted line of fate—one jagged and torn in places so that you were left to tie the pieces together in a crude fashion.

Those that fought to find peace _deserved _to keep it.

A growl ripped up from the back of his throat, boot meeting solidly with the unfortunate trunk of a nearby tree. It cracked, splintering in parts beneath the barely controlled wrath of his pain.

He hadn't known her well, but she was a friend of sorts. Easily the one he connected with most upon his brother's crew. She had been the one to discuss things with, drink until the early hours of the morning and laugh the past away.

A kindred soul **stolen **from the world that deserved all she was willing to give it. And now it would gain

_ nothing_

in the wake of her absence.

Her gravestone was cold, though most were. Still it was hard to imagine a cold slab of stone as a final representation of a woman full of such life and thought. A stone was merely a stone while Robin had been so much more.

"They miss you, you know…"

Ace knelt at the grave, ignoring how fresh the upturned soil was beneath him. It was better not to focus on such things.

He ran a hand through his hair tiredly, sigh splitting the silent air as his gaze shifted from the stone to the greying skies above. Rain. It seemed oddly fitting when matched to such a day. Like the heavens were crying. Ace scowled at the thought. If the heavens cared so much then they wouldn't have stolen her away from such a loving crew.

Silence stretched and Ace messed with the singular flower he held in his grasp. He didn't know what it was called, small clusters of purple flowers shooting out from a single stem. It was pretty though and he felt that she would have liked it.

Softly, hesitantly, he allowed the flower to rest besides the stone, dark eyes falling upon the name etched into marble. Another sigh split his lips as he leaned back, splattered droplets of cool rain falling upon his face and rolling down exposed skin in a lazy path.

"If I'm being honest, I miss you too…"


	17. Comatose

It was odd really. He didn't quite know why he was here, dark haired youth sitting besides a bed of another. It's not like he really _knew _the kid. Sure, he had seen him plenty of times, that same stupid smile spreading across the brat's face. Ace had of course scowled each time in reply, paying no heed to the orphaned boy so like himself and yet so vastly different.

Both without a home or a place to **belon****g.**

Why was it that Luffy could smile so easily and not he? They should be the same, right? But he was different. He seemed almost _happy. _

A sigh split the young boy's lips freckled cheeks turned towards the other as dark eyes fell upon the coma victim. "Well, you're not smiling now, are you?" A pointless question. It's not like he'd get any form of reply from one so _under. _

It was weird to see Luffy like this. His face was lax, heart monitor a steady beat that faded into the background. He was still a bit pale even after the blood transfusion. More than that though, he just looked… empty. It was unnerving and Ace found himself hating it. This was **not **the bratty chatterbox that seemed so intent on making Ace his 'friend.' This wasn't the kid that smiled even after someone punched him or made fun of him. This wasn't the kid that constantly drove Ace nuts.

_ He certainly wasn't the kid that would run out in traffic when Ace threw the ball to far on purpose. _

Ahh, and _there _it was, the reason Ace found himself in a place he would normally never visit. Despite whatever arguments he put in place—whatever denial coursed through his veins, it was ultimately _his _fault that an innocent child lay here now. And Ace was here because _he _had finally done something that he regretted with all his heart.

Maybe, just _maybe _he was here because in that moment when that car hit Luffy, he _finally _realized that he cared.

** And now it might be too late.**


	18. Wilted Rose

Ace was really starting to **hate **graves. It was never just a hunk of stone to him, not with the commander fully aware of what (or who) lay beneath the misleading tranquility of earth and flowers.

_ Fitting_ to have so many bright hues of life bursting from the grass that lay before this tombstone in particular. They weren't roses sadly, but the small, bright blue flowers that rose like pillars of light were enough to bring a pang to the raven's heart— like twisting a blade already lodged deep within his chest.

It hurt.

"…Damn it." Crouching besides the grave, dark hues narrowed as he glared at the unmoving stone, hating how it just _sat _there, too cold and lifeless. Why was life so often represented by something so harsh? It just didn't seem fair, not when the one lying beneath had always been so bright and lively. A stone was so far from that.

Hesitantly, a hand reached out to brush across the name so carefully etched into the cold slab, tension a coil that wound through him as the commander grit his teeth in frustration. Fingers tightened around a thin stem, Ace forcing himself to loosen his grip so as not to ruin his gift.

A summer rose of course, still yet to fully bloom. Only the faint hint of crimson lingered across the tips of fragile petals. Ace shifted, raising the rose so that it was before his face. It was difficult to pull dark hues from death to life.

"Sorry… I had to raid your gardens one last time, but it was the only thing I could—" He swallowed, leaning back some. "I thought it was fitting. you know how much I like these after all…" Silence stretched and ace continued to stare at the flower, a single thorn digging into the palm of his hand. There was a prick, a drop of blood erased by the gentle lapping of fire.

Ace sighed as he finally released the rose, allowing it to rest at the foot of the grave. He ran a hand through his hair, mussing already messy locks of ebony.

"I'll take care of them. Your flowers. Your home." he laughed lightly, sound dying off. "Hell, maybe I'll even keep your piano tuned and play as often as I can." He smiled then, a small, sad thing.

"Bye Rosie…"


	19. Lost Flame

A cold sweat, clammy as it clung to toned skin. There was a sick, twisting premonition in his gut as it churned and wound through already tense nerves. A snake among tigers.

And there was so much **_F I R E_**—_  
_

_ It leapt to life in large, greedy flames, tendrils of hear scouring the air and sucking oxygen from dry air in quiet desperation. I ate. It fed. It grew. And yet it did not burn. Gentle in it's wrath, fire licked like an old friend against outreached fingertips, upturned palm bathed in the warm light with barely a tickle to show for the fire's scorching power._

_ And then suddenly it reared back, a cry of remorse torn from dry lips as the flames receded backwards as if in flinch. Great, fiery explosions tore through the air, shattering the peaceful calm that had surrounded both man and fire only moments before. _

_ Ash and soot and pooling lava darkened the blue skies, suffocating air and boiling across both land and sea as the slow sludge of magma drew closer still. And yet, the fire fought back. It grew and flared with protective, angry force. _

_ A hand rose to cover dark eyes, cry of surprise and confusion reverberating through the air only to be shredded by the hiss as lava met with flame. It met and it smothered, forcing the heat back with a heat that rivaled it's own. _

_ Another cry burst forth, this time louder, only amplified by the beating of heavy wings against earth from behind as a great shape dropped from the heavens to grasp at the male surrounded in heat. An outstretched arm reached for the dying flames only to draw back as molten magma popped and hissed in angry threat. _

_ Flames flickered weakly, outreaching towards that hand only to be drawn deeper once more by the heavy draw of a greater force. And them his figure was drawn higher, up and away as scaled claws secured around his struggling form. _

_ His next scream was voiced in turn by another, loud and clear and full of unbridled emotion. _

_ One last splutter and the fires died._

_ One last scream and the light gave way for dark._

_ One last echoing **❝ACEEEE—❞**_

Dark hues burst open, hand outstretched before shaking libs and an unfamiliar dampness to cheeks as salty tears slipped free from wide eyes. Eyes wide with fear and loss.

Mozan threw aside the blankets, stumbling as blood rushed upwards at the sudden movement. There was a breif flutter of vision from light to dark as that same hand rose to brace against familiar, cold stone. A cold that was welcome in a moment of such emotional upheaval.

He was still panting, heartbeat a frantic drum in both ears and chest as he worked to control an already irregular breathing.

_' He's fine' _Morzan thought to himself, a typical comforting thought washed away by the rising flood of panic within iced veins.

"Ace is fine…"

It felt better to voice such thoughts aloud, yet still the sinking desperation in the pit of his stomach.

Keeping ties on those he cared for was something Mozan had always done, a way of connecting his soul to another by a nearly unbreakable thread. A thread that had just been severed at the root. There were only two ways to sever such a thread. One was for Morzan to do so himself, and the other through—

**DEATH**


	20. Worth of a Life

Shadowed frame pressed against cool stone brick, adopting the darkened shadows like a second skin upon the lean form, a cloak to hide himself in and escape the wandering eyes of those that would cause he or the young teen behind him harm.

There was a tension to his joints, one finger twitching nearly uncontrollably, a loose nerve to keep others in check even as the other four tightened around steel pipe in hand. Crude and unrefined yet familiar and effective all the same.

The patter of feet reached his ears and Ace tensed, knuckles white with self-induced stress as his hold tightened and muscles bunched through both shoulder and arm. Only once said footfalls had passed and all sound ceased, did the raven dare to allow tension to seep from his form, calm awareness settling in instead.

"Okay, it's clear."

He turned slowly, ashen hues falling upon the crimson of the young man behind him, taking in his rundown state and tattered clothes. At least he wasn't shaking anymore. That would draw attention and attention was the _last _this this pair of renegades needed when in flight from peril.

"**Luca**, come on." It was more of a demand than a statement, hand outstretched to help the dark haired male to his feet as Ace forced a small, reassuring smile his way. "We're almost there. You can do it."

A nod was met in reply as thin digits wrapped around Ace's own. He pulled him upwards with as much gentleness as he could manage, hand raising to tussle dark hair as he turned once more. Together, they parted from the comforting darkness of the alley, risking a dash into the light of the street on path to another sanctuary. A high risk with guards stopping heavy booted feet all about the city, but necessary if they were ever going to make it past the walls and into freedom.

Heartbeat pounding in his ears, Ace made sure that Luca crossed the boundary before he, dark irises so focused upon the youth that he hardly noticed the gun until too late.

And in a breathless moment, Ace in the only way that made sense. Palm outreached, Ace slammed into Luca, sending the youth into the treeline just as piercing metal compacted with flesh in a burst of pain. The bullet ripped through his shoulder and ace stumbled before falling himself, groan escaping parted lips as agony shot across frazzled nerves.

"Ace—!"

There was a panic in the boy's voice that Ace ignored. Dark gaze shot up to meet with crimson as he scowled, both a mixture of pain and frustration. "**GO— **I'll catch up." Hesitation met his order and ace growled before shouting again.

This time his order was met with a flinch, panicked gaze shot between Ace and the approaching guard before Luca turned and fled.


	21. Windswept Serenity

"You are such a moron."

"Shut up already, will you? The forecast said there was only a 20% chance of rain. Not my fault they were fucking _wrong._" Especially when it was **pouring**. A drenching downpour that fell in a sheet of moisture all around them. If not for the umbrella Sabo had been wise enough to drag along, they'd both be stuck in the rain. As it was, beneath the plastic cover, it was cramped and cold.

Not that he was complaining.

Ace leaned into the other, head bent down to stare under the rim of the blue umbrella and watch the falling rain. His feet and the ends of his pants were soaking wet but at least his hair had escaped the worst of the storm. Sabo was more lucky. Of course _he _would think ahead and grab rain boots and a jacket. Ace on the other hand, was chilled to the bone, thankful for his resilience against cold but cursing it all the same. At least under here it was warm enough.

"Oh, come here—"

The raven nearly jumped when a hand dropped on his shoulder before pulling him in closer, sigh reverberating through the air over his head as Sabo rest his head upon his own. Ace merely blinked before allowing irises to fall shut, head falling forward to rest beneath the other's chin.

_ 'I'm only doing this because I'm cold,' _A stupid thought considering he wasn't all together _that _cold. Still, Sabo was warm and he welcomed the familiar heat, small smile playing across hidden features as he released a short chuckle.

"You planned this, didn't you?"

There was a short chuckle in response, arms tightening around his form as if to keep Ace there. "I don't know what you're talking about~" A fat lie if Ace had ever heard one. His smile grew even wider, thrown aside as a gust of wind hit the two. A short grunt of surprise rang through the air and the blast of frigid air caught hold of the umbrella and ripped it from the blond's fingers, tossing it up into he air before carrying it down the street and around the corner.

A moment of stunned silence and Ace burst out laughing, head raised to stare after the unfortunate shield from the rain even as moisture rained down upon the two, sticking to hair and running across their features. Sabo seemed far less pleased by the outcome, cerulean hues upturned towards the sky and a frown upon his features. It was quick to morph into something else as Ace's shoulder bumped into him once more, a smile slow to spread across his face before he too, was laughing into the rain,

It was short, more of a lingering affection as the warmth of soft lips hit his own. ace smiled into the affection, rain buffeting the two though he could care less in that moment. Slowly, Ace leaned back, grin plastered across freckled features as he stared into blue in a rare moment of genuine happiness.

"You look like a wet dog."

_And moment over. Good job Ace. _


	22. Broken to Pieces

Stiffing suffocation. There was a heaviness to the stale air washing over sweat coated limbs, dirt and dried blood a paint across blunt and ripped fingernails as already beat up palms pulled away yet another stone. It clattered to the dirt and rubble cluttered floor, kicking up dust and ash that caught in his throat and pulled forth a strangled cough. It was followed closely by another and another though that mattered little now.

"…Ace…"

He ignored the utterance of his name, not bothering to turn as he wiped a dirt-stained sleeve across his brow, wiping away a line of sweat and leaving soot and mud in it's wake.

It was too hot in here, not enough air circulation to keep the stale air fresh and cool. With only the minimal gap above to shine any form of light down into the pit, it wasn't much of a surprise.

_Buried alive under the wreckage of what had once been called home. _

**How ironic. **

He reached up once more, palms gripping onto another jut of concrete before tugging sharply at the end. It barely budged and Ace shifted his grip, tugging at it again. This time it slid some, biting into the sensitive skin just between thumb and index finger. Ace hissed in pain and drew back his hand to see blood. A curse rose into the air behind him.

"_Ace—_"

"Shut **up**." He flicked his hand at his side, wiping the wound against the already stained fabric of his pants. "I'm fine, okay?" Blood smeared against dark blue, leaving a stain that would no doubt be a pain to remove later. If he ever got the chance—

Ace threw that thought aside, stubborn frown falling into place across stoic features as he ripped at the end of his shirt. Large pieces of the dark cloth were already missing though Ace refused to look at where they had been used. He wrapped the cloth around his injured palm, tying it tightly to stem some of the blood flow. He wouldn't be able to do anything about the infection right now.

_Later. He'd take care of it once they were out of this hell hole. _

It wasn't until a shuffle reached his ears from behind that Ace turned, and even then it was with that same scowl upon his face, slim ebony brows knit in a mixture of frustration…and worry.

"Don't move you idiot."

Hollow words no doubt, especially when they were coming from Ace. What was he supposed to do though? It's not like he was going to let the blond move about— Not with that _wound. _

Ace pushed Sabo back down again, furious at his attempt to stand with the large stain spread across his right leg. "Oh, come **on**—" Ace ignored him still, ignored the frustrated, angry look lingering in cerulean hues filled with suppressed pain. "I'm fine Ace, really."

They both knew it to be a lie.

Ace crouched before him, hand still resting upon Sabo's shoulder as he made sure to keep the blonde in a sitting position. One leg was folded beneath him casually, the other sticking out awkwardly. that was where the other shreds of his shirt were at work, makeshift bandage tight around Sabo's upper thigh. It was already soaked through with blood again.

Sabo bit his lip as Ace released him to work on the bandage instead, a flinch as fingers loosened the cloth before pulling it back again. Sabo hissed and Ace flinched at the sight that lay beneath, open wound a gaping worry that had Ace sucking in a quick breath.

**_ 'I'm fine Ace, really.'_**

What a lie that was. A sigh rippled past Ace's lips as he retied the wound, wishing for not the first time that they had some semblance of water down here so he could properly clean the wound. No, all they had were shattered belonging covered in dirt and debris.

The earthquake hadn't left them with much of use. Rubble formed a ditch of sorts were they now sat, a sliver of sunlight filtering through dust filled air though it was far too high to reach, even if Sabo _had _the mobility of both legs.

When the shaking had first started, Ace had been fortunate enough to be under a rather secure part of the home, falling into the pit that crumbled beneath him only after most of the structure had crumbled. Sabo had fallen first, a piece of the floor swallowing him up. Ace could still hear the echo of his scream as debris fell on his leg. It haunted him, the raven willing the memory away and failing miserably.

That had been who knew how many hours ago.

Punctured by fallen stone, the wound was no small thing, and it was obvious that it was starting to take it's toll. Sabo attempted to push himself up once more and Ace finally snapped.

"DAMN IT SABO—" He pushed him back down with two hands this time, meeting with a furious gaze of blue defiantly as hands shook, whether from anger of worry, he was no longer sure.

"I'm not going to just watch you rip yourself to pieces Ace! Let me up and I can help! I can help y—" A hand moved to slam over Sabo's lips, Ace positively shaking by this point as he glared back at him. _Did he seriously not understand the seriousness of his situation?!_ How much blood had Sabo lost already with Ace helpless to stop it? Too much. Enough to chill Ace's own veins with icy dread. He knew enough about medical emergencies to know that he wasn't in good shape.

He was shaking, skin clammy and too cold for Ace's tastes. Eyes hazy and hands shaking when he thought Ace wasn't looking. To let Sabo stand would be sentencing him to death.

Even with palm over his lips, Sabo glared defiantly back at him and something deflated in the raven, head falling forward to rest on the blond's shoulder as he allowed his hands to drop into his lap. He was still shaking, shoulders tense as he glared at nothing in particular.

"Please… Please just stay still."

A sigh breathed into the heavy air, brushing past Ace softly as a hand rose weakly to press into the center of his shoulder blades, holding him closer. Ace had to bite back a sound that welled up in the back of his throat.

"Okay…Okay, I won't move." Even his voice was fainter and Ace flinched in response, eyes squeezing shut as he buried his head more into Sabo's neck, shaky breath escaping in a rush. How long did he have? How long before someone came to get them out? Ace didn't want to think about it, but still the thoughts swam through terror stunned mind, a slow trudge of worry like tar pulling them both deeper and he _hated _it, **hated **that there was nothing he could do to help him other than just stay by his side, a presence Sabo seemed to welcome readily.

"Ace…?" The raven shook his head, unable to pull forth any words under the crushing weight of thought and fear. Not for himself, but the man that held him so close. Damn Sabo… Damn his bad luck. Ace suddenly wished for nothing more than a second chance. Better he be in Sabo's position than the blond. "Ace, come on… Look at me."

A long moment passed before he was even able to do so and then there was a thumb brushing across his cheek, wiping away a trail of moisture that Ace hadn't been aware of until that moment. It was another moment later that he recognized the wet, stinging sensation as tears.

"…Don't cry… Come on, Ace… What would Luffy say if he saw you like this?"

A strangled noise rose in Ace's throat, an odd choke between a laugh and a sob. Concern flashed across Sabo's expression but Ace was too distracted to remedy it, leaning into his hand with another shuddering breath even as Sabo spoke up again.

"Ace. Ace, I need you to look at me, okay? This is important." Forcing himself to rise to meet that gaze, his expression contorted into some unreadable emotion, faint, sad smile spreading across Sabo's face as Ace watched. "Hey…" Another chocked noise from Ace and Sabo's other hand rose to cup his other cheek. Ace placed a hand atop his own, trying desperately to reel in his raging emotions. A losing battle of course, though that should have been expected.

Sabo was leaning back, so it took a fair amount of energy to close the gap between the two, dry lips brushing against Ace's temple in a gentle kiss. If Ace wasn't already fighting back the tears, that would have been the moment he broke down. Fingers gripped desperately at Sabo's hand now, a silent plea for _something— _

_"I love you Ace…" _

Voice so quiet, Ace almost didn't hear it. The hands on either side of his face went slack and this time, a raw cry of sorts _did _escape into the air, closely followed by another only a heartbeat later, louder with rising panic as his hands shifted to grapple at the slack form of the blonde, racing to check heartbeat and breath as one hand gripped desperately at his hand.

Still beating.

Still breathing.

_By the time someone finally found the two, both stood still._


	23. Sky of Crimson

— Slow and sluggish, darkness crept upon the edge of illuminated light, gentle white making way for black as the shadow inched across the familiar surface of the upwards moon. It was a slow, gradual thing, mug of ale half-forgotten in the grasp of the raven's palm as dark hues shifted out and upwards across sea and into sky.

And the stars… With each passing moment as the darkness inched farther, more of the dancing lights came out to play, shining with silent wonder in the heavens above as if to make up for the encroaching darkness across their friend's surface. It was beautiful and Ace found a small smile blooming to life across freckled features, starlight reflected in hues of ash.

A moment of still as the shadows encompassed the moon's surface fully and then the dark overshadowing of crimson that stained both sky and sea in blood soaked mystery. Foreboding to some, yet stunningly beautiful at the same time. Such a rare sight to see and all the more beautiful with gentle waves lapping hungrily at the side of familiar wood. Where silence may have once unnerved him, now it was welcome, a strange peace washing over the once commander and now renegade as he leaned back against the cool wood of his mast.

"Stained in blood… Well, looks like I can relate after all…" His smile was fainter now, weighed down by an inescapable sorrow despite the beauty that shone down from below. For even that could not last forever. A thin sliver of light already ate at the corner of the red moon, darkness waning against the force of light. Too soon the crimson faded, leaving bright, shining luminescence in it's place, the dancing stars fading into the background once more.

Hand outstretched with mug in hand, Ace allowed dark hues to slide shut with a soft sigh. "Until next year, my friend."


End file.
